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Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.
So here is my best advice for how to stop looking for love so that you can love yourself first. You know that way you feel when you finally get home, let down your guard, wash off the makeup, and relax? Get into that mindset more often. When we are actively seeking a romantic relationship, we have a tendency to project a different version of ourselves to the world.
We spend so much time editing our Instagram photos and carefully wording our Facebook posts to send just the right message to the world.
It can get exhausting. And, if we make it a constant habit, then we may forget who we really are or become unable to stand our true, unfiltered self. When you do find love one day—long-term, marriage worthy love—your partner deserves to know your true self.
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So there is no better moment than now to start being yourself! Get FREE access to my self-growth area and achieve more fulfillment, success, control, and self-love! Instead, just try to find more opportunities for the closest people in your life to get to know you a little better.
You will be surprised to find that not focusing on finding someone or getting married will actually make your other relationships grow stronger. The less energy you spend trying to woo a life mate, the more you can spend opening up to the people who really matter. Dishonesty festers, and if you make a habit of it in your search for love, then you risk building an entire relationship on a weak foundation.
A relationship that will be doomed to fall apart. So during this period of self-imposed singleness, strive to practice honesty. Be honest about everything, or at least commit to not lying. No more swiping left or right for you. Delete them now, while you are highly motivated to do so.
How long do you spend making yourself up in the morning or before you go out at night? How much effort do you put into shaping the perfect body for your soulmate? So stop fretting over your appearance every day. Self-imposed single time is the perfect opportunity to get to know yourself better. Everybody needs a little me time.
Even if you are an outgoing extrovert, you stand to gain a lot from quiet time with yourself. If you do want to be in a serious, long term relationship one day, you have to get used to the idea of being alone.
It might sound counterintuitive. You should complete each other, not define each other. When we are on the hunt for love, we can easily get pressured into going out every night or whenever our friends invite us. You have the power now to choose when to go out and when to stay in. Remember, you are being more honest and open. So rather than force yourself to hit the town, why not stay in with yourself or just invite a close friend or two over.
What are you going to do with all of your free nights and weekends? Of course you can use some of that freetime for a good Netflix binge or other guilty pleasure.
Dating tips for finding the right person
But part of focusing on yourself instead of finding romance is also self-growth. Have you always wanted to learn a new language? Start a blog? Up your tennis game? Whatever it is that you love to do or are passionate about in life—pursue it now. Grow yourself by growing your passions. And when love does find you, you will be a more well-rounded partner!
Love and romance
So rather than spending so much energy chasing after someone to spend your life with, focus all of that effort on loving yourself instead. Grow in virtue, personality, and awareness. Here are answers to the most common questions I hear about practicing self-induced singleness.
We all have a longing, deep down inside of us, to belong. To be wanted and cherished and needed. It starts when we are infants and must be loved in order to survive. As we mature, we no longer need love for survival.
Instead, we are searching for purpose. And we can find that purpose by loving others. It is only natural, then, to want that love to be reciprocated.
Since your desire to be love stems from a need for purpose, the first step is to find purpose outside of romantic love. Another person should not be the sole source of your fulfillment.
How to find love | 7 tips to find the perfect romantic partner
By spending more time with yourself and pursuing your passions, you will learn to define your life outside of other people. But you can also search for ways to express love outside of romance.
Some people find it in volunteering time for charity. Others in religion. Still others choose to spend more time with family members that have grown distant. It varies for everyone, but here are some of the stages you can expect to go through when you stop looking for love:.
So just focus on yourself. That way, when you do find someone who loves you, you will know that it is meant to last. Are you planning on taking some self-imposed single time?
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What are you going to do to grow yourself? Let me know in the comments! Bijan Kholghi is a life coach with special psychological education in hypno-systemic coaching.
His teacher Dr. Erickson, and a leading figure in psychotherapy education in Europe. His highly effective coaching and therapy method help people getting aware of their unconscious pattern and gaining control over them. This le to a more fulfilled and happier life. This is ridulous advice. I have been single, very happy and fulfilled for a long time and have not found love. I work in a predominantly female dominated industry so that is also a poor place to meet the opposite sex.
If you want to meet someone you have to go on dating apps, chat and organise dates. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Contents hide. Share Tweet Pin. Comments This is ridulous advice.