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Imagine something as petty as a chat about doing the dishes and then elevating it to a marriage problem. I thought she was crazy. You know, in the hyperbolic way, but just maybe a tiny bit in the clinical way too. I was unable to make any sort of meaningful connection between the drinking glass I would leave next to the sink and the depths of frustration, anger and sadness that it would incite in my wife. After 13 years together, nine married, and with a four-year-old son, my wife decided she'd had enough.


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He also needs to be above average in attractiveness, intelligence and wit. He should have his act together emotionally, financially, priorities - no drama. Oh sure, we all have 'stuff' in our past, but it should be stored, and not be hidden in the linen closet to leap out at inappropriate times. He should be both able and desiring to have FUN - to do things not in perpetual motion, but not glued to the lounge chair; nor so lacking in interests he just settles for endless busy work.

We should share many, not all, interests - after all, everyone needs alone time, time with friends or doing their own thing. But there are few solid relationships that don't have much in common. He should have a global awareness, and have an ability to be goofy on occasion. He should be affectionate, like holding hands etc. As to preferences - clean shaven, well groomed and nicely dressed even if casual.

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